TEN AXIOMS OF CHOICE THEORY

• 1. We can only control our own behavior
• 2. All we can give another person is information
• 3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems
• 4. The problem relationship is part of our present life
• 5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future
• 6. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World
• 7. All we can do is behave
• 8. All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology
• 9. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think
• 10. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable

Choice Theory

Habits of Choice


Caring Habits (YOU?)

• Supporting
• Encouraging
• Listening
• Accepting
• Trusting
• Respecting
• Negotiating

Deadly Habits (THEM?)

• Criticizing
• Blaming
• Complaining
• Nagging
• Threatening
• Punishing
• Bribing

Let us suppose that it is THEM who exhibit those deadly habits, and assume that Choice Theory is valid (well, it is only a theory, after all!), then choosing such habits means they and we are doing the best they can as far as each of us experiences the situation.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
Rational choice theory postulates that an individual chooses the best action according to her preferences and the set of actions available to her. The 'rationality' described by rational choice theory is different from colloquial and most philosophical uses of rationality in that it refers to consistent decision making given the same actions, preferences, and options.

Rationality in rational choice theory does not mean that the actions chosen by an individual are logically valid, or made with full or perfect information. Rational choice theory is a successor of much older descriptions of rational behavior. It is widely used as an assumption of the behavior of individuals in microeconomic models and analysis.

Although rationality cannot be directly empirically tested, empirical tests can be conducted on some of the results derived from the models. Over the last decades it has also become increasingly employed in social sciences other than economics, such as sociology and political science. Models that rely on rational choice theory often adopt methodological individualism, the assumption that social situations or collective behaviors are the result of individual actions.

Open Space Technology

Open Space Technology (OST) is a way to convene people for a conference, retreat or meeting.

"Technology" in this case means 'tool' - a process; a method.

Attendees generate the meeting agenda and participate by leading small group break-out sessions. There is usually a facilitator, but no official meeting leader who demands compliance.

For meetings and conferences Open Space Technology enables groups of any size to address complex, important issues and achieve meaningful results quickly. It is at its best where more traditional meeting formats fail: when there is conflict, complexity, diversity of thought or people, and short decision times.

It has been used in widely diverse settings, from designing aircraft doors at a large aircraft manufacturing company to engaging street kids in defining a sustainable jobs program.

OST is a meeting methodology. It is also a philosophy and a life practice. It has been widely copied and adapted to private open space meetings and public open space conference purposes.......the essential core that determines whether something is "open space or not" is "the invitation to take responsibility for discussing your passion". When participants do so, the needs of both the individual and the collective are supposedly met.

Use of the term OST was first attributed to Harrison Owen in 1986. In its original form has been used in over 100 countries and in diverse settings, industries, cultures and situations - for program and product design, knowledge exchange, interdisciplinary thinking, conflict resolution and conferences.

This method has been used all over the world by thousands of practitioners for groups of people from 4 to over 2000.

Methods
In Open Space, a facilitator explains the process and then participants are invited to co-create the agenda and host their own discussion groups. ......participants are free to move amongst the discussion groups....(see Law of Mobility)

At the end of the allotted time a few hours to 2.5 days, the full group reconvenes for comments and reflection. This helps participants to re-engage in the full group over the duration of the meeting.

While the mechanics of Open Space provide a simple means to self-organize, it is the underlying principles that make it effective both for meetings and as a guidepost for individual and collective effectiveness.

The Law of Two Feet (also known as the Law of Mobility in settings where participants don't necessarily have the use of both feet) -- a foot of passion and a foot of responsibility -- expresses the core idea of taking responsibility for what you love. In practical terms, the law says that if you're neither contributing nor getting value where you are, use your two feet (or available form of mobility) and go somewhere where you can.

• It is also a reminder to stand up for your passion. From the law, flow four principles:
• Whoever comes is the right people
• Whatever happens is the only thing that could have
• Whenever it starts is the right time
• When it's over, it's over

The organizing theme of an Open Space meeting is that people who care about the subject will come together. The initial meeting notice takes the form of an invitation, thus the people who have attended have chosen to be there and are willing to contribute.

email: michaelmallows@gmail.com
Background
Harrison Owen's book, Open Space Technology: A User's Guide, Second edition c.1997, 173 pages. Published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers Inc. San Francisco.

Open Space Event; Building Bridges Between Difference

I am passionate about celebrating Diversity as a source of abundance and a cause for celebration.
That we have beliefs and values, hopes and aspirations in common is wonderful!
That we have differences is inevitable and can be inspiring or frustrating. Our differences can help us to expand our horizons or cause us to batten down the hatches!

Or differences can also create barriers, cause tension, stir resentment or resistance, or enable us to make sense of other people's, seemingly inexplicable behaviour. These seem almost trite, and yet a lot of my work is helping people extricate themselves from the mess that ensues from misunderstanding and miscommunication as a result of people denying or discounting the reality and impact of difference and diversity in the relationship.

Religion, gender, orientation, age, core-beliefs, bed-rock assumptions - these will all be present in the room, be it a supervision session, a team meeting, a disciplinary, a fund-raising pitch, a job interview, etc.

I will write more on the notion of celebrating diversity, and would also like to let you know about a relevant event in London on July 3rd '07.

Factors that Hinder Group Effectiveness

Watch and listen to the 'stuff' between the 'meat' of a heated debate or simple discussion, and you will notice many, most or all of the following!

• New Ideas shot down too quickly
• Different interpretations
• Different beliefs or values
• Power-Plays and competitiveness
• Poor listening skills
• 'Unfinished' business
• Neutral or negative reactions

There will be many reasons why people react in these ways, ranging from poor chairing or group facilitation, hidden agendas, low emotional intelligence.
It could be just one group member who infects everyone one else.
Dehydration, hunger, boredom and frustration, deadened sensation and floundering hopes.
Time and timing also play their part; heavy or liquid lunch can result in slow brain, for example.
And most of the 'reasons' can be reduced or eradicated relatively easily.

Free your mind.

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Reading The Qrest of Words

Qualities Relationship Energy Space Time

Qualities Relationship Energy Space Time

Most people, if they listen at all, are exceedingly ‘bad’ listeners! Many who might consider themselves, and would be described by others, as good listeners have little training in listening. Yes, they might have been taught, or at least told about recapping, or reflective and active listening. They might have been given advice on body-language, and even been told how to interpret non-verbal signals: If the eyes go up, it means the person is lying, if they are shifty-eyed i.e. their eyes go side to side, it’s evasiveness, if the head tilts down to the left, they’re looking for an angle. Legs crossed and body turned slightly sideways? They are blocking you or avoiding intimacy. Arms folded? Defensiveness and so on!

The meaning attached to the above examples might well be accurate and ‘true’ at any given time, and maybe not! And many will react as if their ‘maps’ are the territory - even some who know the meta-model, accept the validity of NLP presuppositions such as ‘the map is not necessarily the territory’, ‘the meaning of the message’ etc., and are also clued up on Clean. How much more difficult, then, for those who have little, poor, or no training in meaningful listening or effective questioning skills!

That last statement begs an unclean question or two: Effective in what way? By what criteria? For what purpose? For whose benefit? Toward what outcome? And the plethora of clean questions¹ that could be asked about the whole, final sentence speaks for itself!

As you listen to the undulations of a speaker’s words, paying effortless attention to the rhythm of their breathing, watching the blinking of their eyes, the furrows in their brow, you might notice tense or relaxed muscles. As you tune into the pace of their speech, the frequency and duration of their pauses, and tonality of voice, you can become aware of their energy waxing and waning. The pitch of their voice might fall as they plumb the depths of their despair, or rise as they gain insight into what impels them forward, or recognise a pattern that holds them back. And be simultaneously aware of the left foot moving, or maybe the right one, as their body shifts and fidgets with the ebb and flow of their story and the undercurrents of possible emotions.

And stay mindful of the fluctuations of your own energy as your attention is nudged by a particular word or phrase, your compassion hooked by a sigh, your imagination enchanted by a simile, distracted by a frown – or frustration so restimulated by repetition or identification that you feel swamped with your own ‘stuff’.

Thus the dance; each of us drifting this way and that on the waves of other people’s recollections, rising with the highs, or sinking because what they treat so lightly somehow weighs heavy on our minds.

These, dear reader, are the obstacles and opportunities that present themselves to us whenever we engage in discussion, dialogue, debate. Whenever we are called upon or opt, for whatever reasons, to listen to others, offering the gift – or illusion - of attention.

Nancy Kline, encouraging us to create thinking environments,² says that the quality of our attention has a direct impact on the quality of others people’s intelligence. To resonate with the truth of that, we need only acknowledge our own (erstwhile?) reactions when people’s attention seems to wander. Or consider the significance and meaning we ascribe to being held in their awareness, or the shock of the barely stifled yawn, the sly glance at a watch, the tetchy, “Are you finished?” or the tactless, and yet somehow refreshingly forthright, “You must have mistaken me for some who cares!” (‘Am I bovered?’)

Crafty Listening

A simple framework (and another self-indulgent acronym!) listing some attributes and skills for connecting and communicating, especially when others find it difficult to communicate.

Curiosity, the essence of which is a sense of wonder! The best and most difficult approach is to see the world as if through the eyes of a fascinated child, alert, agog, alive to the wonder of it all. Full of questions, finding new connections, forging links, focusing in on the details, pulling back to grasp the bigger picture.

Responsiveness, so much more flexible than reactivity, staying in the flow of ‘intimate distance’ that allows us to get close with fearing engulfment and to let go without fearing abandonment or rejection.

Assertiveness, so that we can direct the flow of communication neither as warrior or wimp, and invite fierce conversations³

Focus, what we focus on grows! Direct attention to what is wrong with the world, and we will register more of what’s wrong with the world. Focus on what’s right with the world, and we will find evidence of it everywhere.

Thoughtfulness, both in the sense of considering others and being capable of clear and critical thinking and decision making.

Yes! A positive attitude based on intelligent optimism and maintained via the metamodel, fierce conversations and Clean questions.

1 How much more difficult, then, for those who have little, poor, or no training in meaningful listening or effective questioning skills!

2 Time to Think, Listening to Ignite the Human Mind.

3 Susan Scot